DOGNAKED, page 5
five all over again
five 'ul get ya ten
dognaked hasn't always photo-documented his exploits although he has always had great adventures like those seen depicted in these pages.
the craft of photography was a skill learned many moons ago in obedience school (don't get excited my leather majesty - we ain't talkin of the uniquely and all too human pursuit of sadomasochistic delusion through bondage)
yes, what you may have heard around is true:
I was educated by humans.
If you pity me for this, then you miss the point or at least a point, Besides, it wasn't all bad. They were for instance always very concerned for my masculinity, which they nurtured and doted over in obsessive detail. And though I know no other way to be (male is me and every fiber of my being is male), I definitely like it. Even in the abstract, dimensionless realm of semantics just thinking the word makes me feel alive, expansive, and quite fearless actually.
but I digress . . . . .
it was a pinhole camera at first, and then I was led through the technology to become quite proficient as the photo guy for the yearbook s and school paper, then in college as a filmmaker. Technical stuff, that's me. What I lack in artistic sensibility I have long since learned (the old dog can learn under the perfect exact just so conditions as determined by himself) can be faked with slight of hand which is the realm of the technophile (mostly, I think). I left that school when I was 2-1/2 (that's 17 in human years) and didn't take a camera. I mean, what with all that was happening then, and there was that incident in the darkroom, and some other dude, besides, it wasn't HIS dick hangin out there when it all went down. Everybody knew I was only into the Humboldt purple skunk anyway so there you go.
.. .. . yeah, like I was sayin, I liked takin pictures but the adventure life presented for that incredible time (from the summer of love to about when that dude shot Lennon and people started gettin da AIDS) was just too important an experience, one that required my undivided attention. Luggin a big metal camera around, interjecting it into the experience, to move from participant to observer, was just not gonna happen to this dog. Not to mention movies were expensive to make so me and my buds started a band (what else) called Streetdogs, but that's another story and that web site won't be done for a very long time. Come to think of it either will this one.. . . . . .
. . . . So I cast camera aside and go forth I did still with the clothes on my back. Even though some guy inside me (probably the dick-brain) desired to be completely un-encumbered, I was afraid of that dude, believed in him, but I kept my clothes on . . . . . usually.
Before I dumped the camera, I shot one more roll of film, and as I talk about it I now remember a few others, but they were black and white, developed by me, this was color slide (a medium I detest) and had to be developed at the drug store but not printed so I figured I would get away with it, and I did. Those pictures of me, naked, when I was seventeen were the only ones. As excited as I was with the results, I was also terrified. I kept them rubber-banded together and hidden away for several years until one day when I just threw all but 3 or 4 of the more "tasteful" (god I hate that word!) away a boneheaded choice for sure.
these are two from that moment of courage when I was
So now here I am, 1991 drivin west, and I had a little point and shoot I'd gotten to remember Columbus with cause I never did take pictures in Phily except for that one furtive shot of Andy (the only asexual human I've ever met) climbing naked out of the pond. Actually my next stop was to be the southwest, the last place I'd ever thought I'd be, but it was toward home, California's where I came from, and though I was not particularly homesick, racing out of that closed-in terrain and into the wide open expanse of the west certainly fired off a few long senescent synapses. Finding a little dirt road goin from nowhwere to nowhere is all it took.
So after a long hiatus I was bit by the bug again. I started takin pictures with a vengeance. And I picked up right where I left off. I guess I didn't realize how much that final roll back then meant to me but I was gonna make up for lost time. And what I lost to the Gods in youthful good looks (and that was a lot) I would again use technical manipulation and another old standby the power of statistics (if you take enough pictures one or two are gonna be good), to overcome. So with my one track theme and what appears to be obsession to get "the job" done I managed to produce around 10,000 negatives between 1992 and 1998, and here in 1999 I still have over 100 rolls of undeveloped film.
Well the "the job" or that perfect picture I can see in my my thoughts still ain't on paper but I don't feel particularly bothered by my vanity anymore. You really are what you feel. It ain't no cliché. I could show you pictures, taken within 24 hours of each other, of me, where, in one you would age me at 22, and in the next, 72, really. I don't mind showing the former but I guess there is enough vanity to yet prevent me from advancing this bit of scientific evidence, even for the greater cause of humanity. Maybe someday when I wish I still had that body. . . .
. . . blah blah blah . . .
If I got to listen to another guy's midlife crisis story I think I'll puke. Oh yeah, i guess you've penetrated pretty far into my site already but just in-case your presence ain't compatible with some arbitrary notion of what should or should not pass through your eyeballs, then here's my official warning and disclaimer.
*** if you are offended ***
*** by free expression ***
*** or bad words ***
. . . . . . . .
*** then fuck you ***
oh and for those webmasters out there who actually believe the crap these blood-sucking adult check guys feed you about needing their disclaimers and protection, then please contact me at your earliest convenience to learn more about unique opportunities, exclusively available from dognaked, that will make me rich give you complete and exclusive peace of mind that everyone attempting access to your site is a mindless lemming accessing your site after paying my til and going other places on the net for outrageous fees to see what they've seen before for free and, in the process, I'll relieve you of lifetime control over your own assets and you'll never have another worry . . Let me have my way with you, I swear you won't forget it! . . just click here and give me your name, credit card number, checking account branch and number and as fast as you can say "oh my gosh" you'll be done for . . . . and know it was us
which won't be a bunch of blather like this page is
You can download any of dog's photos from a convenient thumbnail gallery created back in the day when dognaked had visions of greenbacks rewarding his webbish efforts. It was hooked through paypal and the dog would get a buck and some change whenever guests rose to the bait (about twice/month), THEN paypal decided that the dog was "profiting from immorality" and closed the account. Paypal actually kept $1000 of my mom's money for a year saying they thought I was trying to rip her off because she transferred the money to me via paypal. They recently lost a class action suit for that type of behavior and owe me a settlement. They keep contacting me to settle up but when I respond - you guessed it - my account is closed for immorality so paypal continues to weasel out of its obligations - how convenient for them . . The gallery has every photo that was on the site 4 years ago but hasn't been updated - but hey - its free.